Standing in the Doorway of the Laundromat

Laundry products.  They used to smell so good!

Today, the strongest laundry scents smell like some kind of vitriolic pepper spray to me -- invisible firecrackers of scent popping wildly in all directions upon even the most subtle movement of a clothed body, emitting a biting, burning sensation to my nose, and affecting me like a blow to the head.  I contrast this to the old days, when I would hold freshly washed cottons to my face and sniff!  I remember the gentle, powdery, motherly scent.  How I luxuriated in the world of smells I adored!

Ironically, I had to visit Paris to find the USA fragrances of my memory.  Paris was where they'd stored those sweet and lovely, "benign" scents of my youth!  How could this be?

Ah, better laundry-toxin regulations in Europe, that's how!

In France, I didn't have to shut the car doors and windows and seal the inner vents when parked in front of a laundromat.  In France, I could not only exit my car, but I could walk -- walk, I tell you! -- to the very doorway of the laundromat and chat with the people inside!  (I didn't venture in -- I was afraid the unbelievable experience would shatter.  I was profoundly happy not to have to duck for cover.)

I am aware of how positively ridiculous this may sound to those of you who have never had to flee from physically overpowering chemical scents.  But to those of you who know this routine:  I trust you'll understand the thrill I felt just standing there -- in the doorway of a laundromat.

Cheers!

~ Carolyn

MCS Denial

Good morning!

What discourages me most from writing are those intervening, demoralizing "down" days -- days spent recovering from an unavoidable exposure to the usual, so-called "harmless" chemicals on persons and clothing.  Although I cannot help the way my body feels at such times, those recovery days have become an embarrassment to me, a black mark on my efficiency, and, as the MCS-denying world sees it, a major strike against my credibility as a human being.

Being human and feeling massively outnumbered, I, too, start thinking this way, butting my head against the wall to "feel OK" in spite of the fact that my body is shouting at me:  "REST!  REST!"

I am pushing myself through that dread-filled embarrassment to write today.  Yesterday was spent in a stupor of exhaustion -- which I, in dutiful conformity with the MCS-denying population -- denied; and so I did not rest. 

I cannot tell you how many times I have capitulated to MCS denial.   Perhaps at some point in the development of this blog, this insane people-pleasing reflex will finally leave me to make way for the truth:  I did not cause the existence of these toxins that are slowly killing me, I did not choose to be disabled by them; and I cannot help it when my entire person feels their repugnant, systemically sickening effects.

Whoever out there is similarly afflicted, may we support each other with this very serious reminder.

If you have an MCS story to relate, please share it here!

And, cheers!

~ Carolyn

Hello, Again!

Hello, again, friends . . .

Has it really been that long?

My overall health took a wallop beginning in July -- during which time the bouts of chemical sensitivity felt all the worse.  Sadly, I was not able to dedicate the focused concentration necessary to maintain and grow this site.

But Spring is in the air early (!), and I take that as a hopeful sign that, perhaps, I can redirect my health back toward sunshine again and start digging up more useful links with which to educate the public about the hidden menace of chemical sensitization -- the blooming of reactions to many similarly-based chemicals in succession.

I begin again today.

Cheers!  Wishing you increased stamina and wellness,

~ Carolyn

The Comfort of Stale Coffee

Well, this time I'll strike while the iron is hot.

It's a sunny, warm Saturday eve, a holiday weekend, July 2nd, 5:26 p.m.  I've just returned home, having unintentionally put the damper on a lovely, inviting party within 10 minutes after arriving.  I now feel rather like a child who's been assigned to "the dunce chair" -- except that no human being assigned me here.  My family is still at the party.  I'm . . . . here.

So what, exactly, conspired to send me to "the dunce chair?"

Well, it was a toss-up between the chlorine emanating from the truly gorgeous pool, the scented laundry products used, and the scented candles on the deck.  All combined, I see now that I didn't stand a chance.

Within those brief 10 minutes, my sinuses puffed up and my eye movements grew labored, with an unsettling, quickened pulse jiggling somewhat electrically behind my brow.  The overall feeling is something like the forehead and eye sockets thickening, and the rest of the feeling is very "neurologically afflicted" -- jittery head, spacey, dazed, wiped out, down for the count.  No "negotiated choice" remained today, there would be no ability to "ration" my time in different corners of the yard.  Today, there was simply nowhere to go and the reaction was fast and furious.

Driving home was difficult -- with "cement eyes" trying to maneuver against the glare of the sun.  Then the arrhythmias began.

All too much.

So here I sit in my easy chair, nursing a banana for the potassium but not very enamored of eating.  Maybe I'll try some stale coffee for the anti-inflammatory action of the caffeine.  Then, most likely, the trusty old ibuprofen to deal with the fulminating migraine lurking behind the "cement eyes."

Ah . . . just heated up the coffee.  Stale though it is, it does pick up the spirits. 

Here's to taking comfort in the little things --.

Cheers!   :-)

~ Carolyn

A Favorite Film

There is a film that seldom fails to put a lump in my throat, causing my voice to shake and my eyes to go misty.

Not Doctor Zhivago . . . 

No -- the film that really gets me is Multiple Chemical Sensitivity: A Short Introduction*, featured on the website of The Chemical Sensitivity Foundation (features the chemically injured, including World Trade Center first-responders and war survivors):

No sooner do I see the face of HUD's Bennie Howard and hear the concrete words of support he is speaking than the syndrome starts all over again --  I just want to cry.

Why?

Because Howard's face and voice tell me that there are people out there who actually acknowledge the grueling reality of MCS.  So many people persist in withholding full belief in the MCS sufferer's credibility. This withholding of belief enables them to hang back from the issue, to be content with knowing the bare minimum about it, to tell themselves that it's only "so-and-so" who has this strange MCS problem.  By remaining detached in this way, they easily miss the reality of the rapidly growing population of MCS sufferers.  Moreover, they miss learning about the smoldering dangers to the health of all humans, humans who are exposed to the very same toxins that MCS sufferers just happen to react to earlier.

What is behind this detachment?

When people develop allergies to ordinarily harmless, natural substances, no one is incredulous about this.  Never, for example, have I heard anyone insinuate that a pollen-allergy sufferer has brought on his own allergic reaction by a wrong, fixed idea in his head, by a morbid "fear" of nature, or by a neurotic belief that he is simply doomed to get sick often and from everything.

When, however, a person's body consistently reacts to toxic substances, actual poisonous elements, in common products, he is often treated with incredulity or frank disbelief.  He is frequently subjected to comments which suggest, time and again, that he must make yet a better case for his symptoms and "prove" his malady.  He is then treated, predictably, as the type of person who readily takes on hypochondriacal ideas and who thereby encourages himself to fall ill.

This type of treatment takes a careless swipe not only at the grim reality of MCS, but also at the overall credibility of the person who suffers from it.  It is common, therefore, for the MCS sufferer to find himself gasping out, as quickly as possible and over many successive visits, essential MCS information to unconvinced medical practitioners whose persons and/or offices continue to exude many non-medical synthetic scents that will incapacitate him for the next couple of days.  This is akin to someone with goldenrod in hand asking a person whose eyes are streaming with pollen-caused tears (or who is wheezing with an asthmatic reaction to pollen) to prove that goldenrod caused the allergic reaction, to prove that he didn't somehow bring on the reaction by latent hysteria . . . essentially making him beg for thorough accommodation of his medical problem.

Yes, many people like, for example, the synthetic fragrances of scented paraffin candles in medical offices.  If many people liked abundant grasses and pollen-bearing plants, would the medical practitioners include these, as well, in their offices -- even though they caused other people to wheeze and sneeze?  Probably not.

But perhaps a given practitioner has only one (known) MCS sufferer as a patient.  So why take away the synthetically scented candles?  Well, for the same reason that a medical office has accommodations for even one single person in a wheelchair:  Because MCS is a true disability.  Ask Bennie Howard.

And also because the synthetically scented candles are not only "the MCS sufferer's problem."  The synthetically scented candles can become anybody's health crisis of tomorrow.  Perhaps the next person won't develop MCS.  Perhaps he or she won't have that chance.  Perhaps it will be a sudden neurological affliction.  Perhaps it will be cancer.  The staff would be at risk, first, being more frequently exposed to whatever toxic scents are present in the office.

The incredulity and disbelief surrounding MCS leads to inconsistent, illogical, prejudicial, and unjust treatment of the MCS sufferer, who happens to be dealing with a true medical problem.  Is it not, after all, more scientifically and medically unusual when a person reacts adversely to a natural and ordinarily harmless substance than when he reacts adversely to a known chemical toxin?

Why, then, such unwillingness to accept the reality that actual toxins can cause many people's bodies to recoil in severe and prolonged distress, setting the stage for early onset of permanent degenerative disorders or cancer?  Why this bias that makes cheerful allowance for allergic reactions to natural substances but perpetually tests, doubts, and frequently disregards as neurotic those who suffer systemic reactions to always-harmful toxins?  Finally, why is there not much, much more medical concern over the dangers posed to all by the neurotoxic and carcinogenic elements present in synthetically scented products?

I do not know.

"Cheers!" in defiance of this gloomy and irrational state of affairs, and in the hopes that more people will begin to care deeply about the growing reality of chemically caused damage to humans.
  
~ Carolyn

Pure Elegance

Candles. 

Romantic, soothing, prayerful, inspiring, poetic, sublime, glowing, elegant . . . . . 

Who doesn't love burning a beautiful candle?

Even the chemically sensitive need beauty and loveliness!  However, paraffin and/or synthetically scented candles are a health hazard for all, in varying degrees and at varying rates.  For the chemically sensitive, the harm done by paraffin and/or synthetically scented candles is quickly detected in sudden sinus/facial heat and inflammation, rapid-onset migraine, balance difficulties, restricted eye movement, shaking arms/hands, intense brain fog, a drugged and spacey feeling, impaired coordination in general, cognitive slowdown, breathing difficulties, blood pressure fluctuations, arrhythmias . . . . .  The list goes on and on, and the suffering can last for days at a time following exposure.

What is the reason for this damage when paraffin and/or synthetically scented candles are burned?  Paraffin, a petroleum product, and many scents which are totally synthetic or synthetically based combine to exude airborne mixtures of irritants, carcinogens, and neurological toxins.  Soot, also a by-product of this combustion, is then deposited throughout the area.  These airborne toxins and soot, in turn, are absorbed by nearby fabrics, carpets, and plastics.  The soot lingers on the walls and in the environment.  Cleaners, also often chemically based, cannot remove these contaminants.

So, readers, please do not miss the results of Dr. Anne Steinemann's scientific study on the hazards of common cleaning and air-freshening products, below.  This priceless report happens to include, also, the hidden risks of some corrupted "essential oils" and other supposedly "natural" or "organic" fragrances which are added to many household products and candles:

Dr. Anne Steinemann, Ph.D. - Letter to Missouri Green Cleaning for Schools . . .

For the chemically sensitive, moreover, not only does the burning of paraffin and synthetically scented candles potentially bring on degrees of systemic meltdown, but even unburned synthetically scented candles can fill a room with layers of toxicity, literally thickening the air with unseen but physically felt debris.

Is there any lovely, pleasing, and safe alternative to such contamination?

Yes!

100% pure beeswax candles.  These naturally honey-scented gems of any size or shape illuminate, sweeten, and cleanse the atmosphere, giving off a sleek, chic glow that burns most cleanly.  For more facts about beeswax -- plus life-lengthening and vital home-preservation information -- be sure to read the following links:

"Beeswax Benefits - Beat Nagging Allergies and Sinus Problems" by Dr. Jonathan V. Wright, M.D.

"Are Scented Candles Making You Sick?" by Melissa Breyer

"Are Scented Candles Damaging Your Home?" by Insure.com

EPA Report: Candles & Incense

Wishing you the rarefied pleasure of purified air,

Cheers!

~ Carolyn

B Vitamins and Happiness

Happy Memorial Day to all in the U.S.!

Today, I'd like to focus on the word "happy."

Although "happy" is first thought of as an emotional state, our immediate "happiness" -- or lack thereof -- can sometimes be physically based.

This I learned yesterday -- again -- in case I had any doubts.  My mood was unusually low, the worst "low" I'd felt in decades.  My energy was nonexistent.  I recalled, dimly, through the crippling gloom, that I'd been out of my B-complex supplement for about two months.

Big problem.

So I took a simple remedial measure.  I bought a good B50-complex, took two yesterday and one this morning; and the results have already been astounding.  My body, today, has "automatically" rushed to complete chores -- without my even thinking about it -- chores that had been taking extreme willpower, concentration, and physical strength to approach for many days prior.  Chores that I could not complete.  I'd have to keep sitting down.  And then I couldn't get up!

We hear all the time about how much we need our B-complex supplements, in general.  The B-complex vitamins are known to affect nerve transmission, stamina, and mood.   Deficiency states of some of the B vitamins can be as severe as psychosis, edema, and heart failure.

It's easy to forget that, in addition to the usual reasons for mild to severe B-vitamin deficiency (e.g., stress, fatigue, high sugar consumption), the chemically sensitive population also has "laborious chemical detoxing" to add to those reasons.  Our detoxing capacities are already tremendously compromised.  This results in many extra B-vitamin-sapping stresses on the body.  We could be losing our daily stores of B vitamins at a very, very rapid rate.

Which means that we must pay extra attention to replenishing those stores.

I always know I've hit upon something truly beneficial when "the chores start getting done of their own accord."

Friends, what a huge difference a B-complex makes!

Cheers!

~ Carolyn

Ideas, Precautions, and Hopes

So far, I've put forth a rough, anecdotal picture of typical daily living with MCS.  I do this in the hopes of affirming, as much as a non-medical layperson can, the similar experiences of others along this peculiar path.  I also do this (for those new to MCS and "green" issues) in order to raise questions about things that we don't normally think to question, such as, "Can 'typical' cleaning, deodorizing, and synthetically fragranced products be making us sick (or 'sicker,' as the case may be) even in the medical offices we visit in order to 'feel better'?"

The same question, of course, applies to all chemical, synthetically fragranced products used on the person and in the home.

There are some pleasant alternatives to such chemicals and synthetic fragrances.  Granted, in a medical facility, there might always be a baseline of chemical, antiviral, antibacterial agents that must be used under specific conditions in order to prevent infection and contagion.  Still, might we not hope to keep such applications to a minimum?  Might we, at least, hope not to continue mixing those "baseline chemicals" with other completely unnecessary airborne chemical toxins, to our own cellular destruction?

Going yet further, perhaps scientific minds could come up with natural alternatives to the baseline disinfectants necessary in medical settings?

I don't know exactly how far, for example, tea tree oil can go against major strains of resistant bacteria. But I do know that, for the average person cleaning his own household, tea tree oil can be an effective defense against many potentially harmful germs.  I ask for reader feedback on the many applications and uses of tea tree oil.

Distilled white vinegar, as another example, can literally absorb odors from the air.  Mixed with baking soda, it forms a pleasing cleaning solution around the house where hard water deposits do not make this difficult.  I ask for reader ideas on natural alternatives to softening hard-water deposits in sinks and bathrooms.   

Completely natural beeswax candles  ("100% natural") can, likewise, help to purify the air and absorb odors.  These should have cotton wicks and non-lead bases.

One wants to be extra careful, however, about supposedly "natural" or even "organic" products that are scented with essential oils or other supposedly "natural" fragrances.  Some of these essential oils and "natural" fragrances are not completely natural and, in some cases, are quite harmful.  For more specific scientific findings on this noteworthy topic, please see the following link:

http://missourikidshealthcoalition.wikifoundry.com/page/Dr.+Anne+Steinemann,+PhD

I look forward to hearing from you regarding your own experiences, ideas, and solutions!

Cheers -- and, on a much more somber note, prayers for those in the U.S. hit by the massive onslaught of tornadoes. May your new homes be strong and safe.

~ Carolyn