Thinking in Pieces

Hello, Friends,

Over the past several days, I've been reduced to processing my written words in short bursts of thoughts -- what I call "thinking in pieces."  Synthesizing details in a global fashion has been a great challenge.  I've found myself typing and retyping the simplest things due to my inability to process more than one detail at a time. This difficulty has encompassed even nonverbal, visual details.

All of this is due to my having had a heavier variety of chemical exposures on Sunday than usual.  Today is the first day that some of the physical fog is lifting. Ironically, it's also the first day that the impending migraine is finally coming through.  It's been a three-day event instead of a two-day event, this time around. Now the body begins to fight.  Its reaction time was extra slow and dreary due to its having been literally deluged with airborne toxins.  The effects were so "heavy" that, first, all reactivity was frankly suppressed while my body endured a growing sensation of "stupor."  As my body "awoke" to its exposures, I felt progressively worse and more and more useless.

Laundry toxins figured first on the list, then cigarette smoke.  Creepy effects, this time, as though I'd received a novocaine shot at the dentist which was slowly wearing off in parts of my face.  This has improved, but it's not gone yet.  Such heavy nerve involvement.  I so much hate this.

The B and C vitamins have helped, plus magnesium (with some calcium).  The "creepy" physical reactivity gets a bit muted each time I take another dose.  With the magnesium, I opt for the higher ratio of something like 2:1 or 4:1 magnesium to calcium.  The only calcium I "take" is included in my formulation of Buffered C powder.  I don't want to calcify my soft tissues.  Already had that problem and that required a biopsy.  Don't want to go back there again.  My ratio of magnesium to calcium may look radical to some -- so be it.  I personally found the biopsy -- and the logic behind mainstream medicine's requesting future checks and biopsies -- to be quite radical.  Insane, even.  I'm convinced that I'm severely deficient in magnesium and maybe even have a bona fide magnesium-absorption problem. So I'll mention here what a friend kindly lent to me -- and now I've purchased my own:

Ancient Minerals Magnesium Oil (topical)

Perhaps unrelated but worth mentioning:  When my shoulder froze up with severe spasms of tendonitis and my arm was completely stuck, this oil began to free it up by degrees.  It begins to loosen up the joints almost right away.  Makes me feel better all-around, too.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have another post "on tap" which deals with a separate (and new) topic.  Please bear with me while I complete that one, and kindly accept this post as a sign that this blogger is "still present" with you!     

Cheers!

~ Carolyn

Photos Alive!

Well, friends, I'm learning how to operate my new cell phone-with-camera . . . . .  Some photos have emerged (see sidebar)!

And now, I must tell you --

I have a WICKED headache!  A headache from the phone store last night (carpets, plastics, cleaners, electromagnetic radiation, etc.), from peering down to learn about the thousands of functions my new cell phone can accomplish, from emailing myself my own new photos numerous times using the tiniest of keys (and often missing keystrokes), and from having cell-phone radiation permeate my house and my body (and my family's bodies) all day.  I feel woozy, wobbly, migrainous -- "buzzed!"

This modernization must be taken in very, very small doses.  I have my pen, lined pad, and file folder ready for when I'm ready to quit technology altogether . . . which could be much sooner than I expect.

Oh, my goodness, electronic living is HARD.  This cell phone does not seem to shut off -- even when I press the "off" button.  A phone call comes in and -- it rings!  So much for leaving it beside me, thinking there's no power flow.  I'm already planning to charge it in a distant room . . . . .

It's an excellent device, however, for taking photos.  My family and I collected some beauties today.

At the same time, the clutter in my mind is multiplying exponentially as I puzzle over how to move, store, and delete information in this "miniature laptop-photo-phone" device.  If I don't master this gadgetry quickly, my sleek little phone will become one more messy, monstrous, virtual file cabinet.

I tried to keep it simple, I really did.  All I wanted was a phone and a camera.  But nothing, these days, is simple.

I see that I will now have to dig up articles on cell-phone radiation and all sorts of things which are going to be very unpleasant to learn.  In the meantime, I'll be very careful as I take my snapshots -- everything in the tiniest of doses.

Happy Glorious Spring!  Cheers!

~ Carolyn

Hello, Friends! An MCS poem for you:

           The Dinner Guest

She backed away, and backed away --

they thought she had so little to say.

Her swelling jaw froze into a smile,

face taut now, heating up all the while.

As thunder rose within her skull,
the lively host took her for dull --

unimaginative, slow on the draw

(her vision shaking, sinuses raw).

Electric pulse above her nose, 

throughout her body, head to toes,

left her shaky, feeling slurred

in motion, thought -- in every word. 

The floor swayed gently, like a ship

or a plane in a mildly turbulent dip.

All current was she, electrically charged

by unseen molecules redolent, at-large.

[P.S.  The "she" in the poem is me.   ~ Carolyn]     By Carolyn,  © 2012

Scorching Injustice

"Just think positive," several people have advised me over the years, urging me to stop being "afraid" I'll get sick from synthetic fragrances in my midst.

"Afraid," they say, while standing before me with their fragrances or synthetic room deodorizers (including scented candles, even unlit) burning into my face, as the swelling in my nasal passages has already begun and I'm starting to feel the typical "tipsiness" that antagonizing chemicals bring on.  The inherent cruelty of this situation never escapes me.  I'm called upon to "prove myself" just as it's beginning to be hard to form logical sequences of thought -- and equally difficult, motorically, to shape the words that I desperately need in order to respond effectively.

While this is happening, such bearers of fragrance often debate with me politely regarding my tacitly presumed hysteria.  The debate can be as lengthy as a calm and gentle conversation which they seem to view as some kind of psychotherapy in action.  Or, it can be as brief as a casual laugh and a light comment -- both approaches conveying, in other words, that people describing systemic reactions to commonly used products can't be taken seriously.

All of which boils down to the fact that their nonessential personal preferences of scent and decor take clear and decisive priority over my health for the next few days.  They get to fill their rooms and surrounding upholstery with the cloying, persistent byproducts of synthetic room deodorizers (including synthetically scented candles), wear this or that brand of scented product as they approach me, then implicitly accuse me of some kind of destabilizing mental excess when I suffer physically from these things or attempt to avoid them.  I, in turn, get to sit or recline, immobilized and useless, overtaken by massive head pain plus visual and motor disturbances -- for the next few days.  Then, the next time I come into these people's midst, they will vaguely recall, "Oh, yes, you're very sensitive to fragrances, aren't you?" as they approach me (or as necessity forces me to enter their synthetically scented rooms), and the whole demoralizing and health-injuring routine begins all over again.

As though I'd said absolutely nothing.

"Afraid" . . . . .  Are pollen-allergy sufferers afraid of pollen?  Is that why their eyes stream with tears?  Moreover, can't one be "forgiven" (for lack of a better word) for having come to know, in advance, what one's own body definitively reacts to -- and for hoping to avoid a recurrence of this particular reaction?  Natural-allergy sufferers are forgiven for this all the time -- no questions asked.

As for "thinking positive," I already am.  Like the Man of La Mancha, I intend to keep dreaming that "Impossible Dream:"  My dream that others will realize that MCS is a real, medical problem.  Which, by the way, is the very reason I'm writing this blog.

Those who wish to call me "afraid" of chemical antagonists -- or who prefer to think of me as "hypochondriacal" regarding the real systemic reactions my body undergoes -- may certainly persist in this to their heart's content; but then, if there's any consistency at all to their thinking, they're going to have to think twice before they (or others they know) take medication for their seasonal allergies or avoid staying outside in certain weather.  After all, shouldn't they just try to "think positive" first?  Shouldn't they make absolutely sure that they're not simply "afraid" of flowers, weeds, or the great outdoors, itself?  Perhaps they've convinced their bodies to form antibodies to these natural substances . . . . . just as they wonder (aloud, in my presence) if my mind has possibly convinced my body to react with migraines and motor disturbances to unnatural, toxic chemicals.

And, for the record -- I do not really believe that "natural allergy" sufferers have brought their allergies on themselves (!), any more than I believe that a chemically sensitive person has brought on his own MCS.  I wrote the above paragraph to illustrate the skeptics' inconsistent stance toward "natural" allergies versus their stance toward systemic reactions to toxic chemicals.

The injustice of this inconsistency is scorching, and too many people's bodies are now feeling the burn.

I, for my part, am channeling that "burn" into a "burning" desire to educate others -- as thoroughly and quickly as possible -- about the reality of MCS.

It's truly the most positive earthly action I can take to address this crisis before I sputter and burn out completely.

Please read this eye-opening link from the Massachusetts Nurses Association detailing fragrance-free information and policies:

http://www.massnurses.org/health-and-safety/articles/chemical-exposures/p/openItem/1346. 

This link itemizes nicely and concisely the systemic effects caused by the chemicals in many personal, deodorizing, and cleaning products.

Cheers!

~ Carolyn

My Nutritional Recourse During and After a Reaction to Chemicals

Feeling unusually "clear" today, I'm about to sail into the sunset of an activity bursting with scented clothing and perfumes.

Before I head off, I wanted to make a note about some methods I used this past week to recover from a severe bout of MCS . . . and then to regain my energy, which sunk once again to an abysmal low.

I took to grating cloves of garlic on my trusty cheese grater.  I sprinkle this fragmented mixture on my vegetables, salads, etc.  This does wonders for detoxification after contamination and for energy rebuilding.  But first, in the throes of a dreadful reaction, I had to use liquids as my "food" because the back of my head swelled up internally, making jaw and facial movements nearly impossible.  Swallowing, too, was labored.  The more I drank liquids with the additions noted, below, the more the reaction lessened to the point that I could actually chew food.

Highly recommended is apple cider vinegar, from one tablespoon on up (to tolerance), added to water or seltzer with generous spritzes of (real) lemon juice and a tablespoon or so of raw, unfiltered honey.

Dandelion tea with spritzes of (real) lemon helped, also, along with adding raw, cut onions to my food when I was finally able to chew.

Green tea is anti-inflammatory and was a steppingstone to imbibing the other liquids.

I drank, drank, drank, said fluids (to tolerance) accompanied, when finally possible, with the food additions suggested above.

This is very cut-and-dry reporting, but I'm supposed to be getting ready now and I didn't want to neglect some potentially helpful suggestions for those facing a new weekend of socializing and, therefore, chemicals.

Cheers!

~ Carolyn